The Internet is for Porn!

So I usually only use the internet for porn, but lately it is for looking up cars, and what things are worth, and is the car cute and not a hideous color. I feel like the essence of Roy, friendly slut and kisser of many men, is slipping away because I have to be responsible. I hate being a grown up it sucks!

It Gets Better?

Does it really? My life doesn't seem to be getting better. I keep dealing with shit storm after shit storm. I feel like the people saying this is absolute bullshit. ie. I get in an accident, not my fault, and it is costing me so much with chiropractor visits, and massages, and getting a car, and not having a car. And feeling like I am alone on my venture. It gets better? Because from where I stand, it doesn't look like it. I know that this statement is often dealing with equal rights and the way gays feel about themselves. Well I am gay and I feel awful. And I know Corey is behind me but he doesn't always get how I feel. I know that I am ridiculous, but sometimes, I just need to know you have my back no matter what. Today I let someone who is no one to me make me feel terrible. And its because I couldn't do anything on my own today. Sunday is my morning to get up early and go to the farmer's market. And I couldn't do that on my own today. I feel like I am swimming up stream with 2 boulders and every time I get a little ahead someone hands me another boulder. I know I am suppose to be up beat and always funny and amazingly stylish, but right now I am just fighting to stay.

Fuck You July 2011

So, I know that I am usually loveable and lighthearted, well that is over for right now. July has sucked since day 1.
July first Corey has surgery and is in the hospital for a week. After 7 days of that, I have 5 days of non-stop work. Then I crash and fall asleep at the dinner table. Then it's dealing bullshit left and right.
Saturday I go to a lesbian wedding and get yelled at and humiliated by someone who claims to be a good friend. Well I am sorry friends don't go ape shit crazy on you in the middle of what is suppose to be a good time. So I have to deal with that.
Well then this afternoon as I am on my way to the gym, I get into a car accident, that btw was not my fault. Now I am without a car. I am not at present, but will be soon, I can see them forming, bruises and welts. Not to mention the shit storm that is to follow car accidents.
So dear month of July year 2011, you can finger blast yourself and die!!!
The person whose ass you have been raping for 26 days now,
Roy

Sigfried Survives

(Cue Gloria Gaynor song) First I was afraid, I was petrified. Actually, I really wasn't: by now, many of you know I had surgery and the prospect of being cut open didn't bother me as much as the recovery. And that recovery ...I was a mess, and not a hot one at that. Between puking up stomach bile which looked and smelled like beef blood (how do I know what that looks/smells like? I've been to the Asian market with Roy's grandmother), being hopped up on drugs and confused as to where I was, and being poked and prodded (not in a good way), I can definitely say that hospitals are places for healing, but certainly, not rest. It's hard enough trying to get better on your own, but, when you're sharing a room with "Homeless Tom" who's peeing on himself instead of getting out of bed, and asking the nurses for ice cream in the middle of the night ...it's not easy.

I have to say, LaRoy was an absolute saint. I know, the only sainthood one might associate with LaRoy usually involves praying to the porcelain after a night of heavy partying. However, LaRoy was comforting, supportive and walked me up and down the hallways when I didn't have the strength to move. I told him that this was going to be our future: the old Jewish man (me) and the younger Filipino caretaker (him).

Thankfully, I'm finally home and getting stronger every day. At this time last week, I didn't have the strength to type, let alone be snarky, so I must be feeling better. Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers during this time, and of course, to LaRoy ...for being so special (and I'm not referring to the short bus).

There's No Place like Homo!!

Alrighty people who read these things, Corey is home and feeling so much better. He still has a lot of recovery to do, but he is doing well. I'm excited not to be in the hospital with him anymore. I always felt bad for being buzzed at that place. And now that he is home I can get drunk now, instead of just buzzed. Well I can tonight. His mom gets into town tomorrow morning, and his family already thinks I'm a foul mouth drunk. So I am going to pull a Kim Richards, and hide vodka around the house and be a private drinker.

Corey Took a Shit!!!

So I made the stupid mistake of trying to be there with him 24/7. It's so unlike me to over do it! Anyhow I left at 4:30 this morning when I realized I am going to be worth a shit, pun intended, tomorrow if I don't go home and get some sleep. So I came home washed the smell of hospital off and crawled into bed. When I got up a bit ago I received a text from Corey saying he farted. Great I can't believe it but I have been waiting for that for a couple of days now. Next text was, I had a bowel movement. And I wasn't there. Well I get a lot of emails. People kinda of talking to me like I am a leader in the Sacramento gay community, and I am flattered, but I am not a good example of anything. And I have said in the past the only thing I should be a leader of is a bowel movement. Well I took my leave early and missed that opportunity! So Corey, here's to your farting and shit taking abilities without me present!!!

What You Didn't Hear on the Show

Today was not a great day. Nights seem to be tough for him so I am going to go stay with him tonight. My house is a mess does someone wanna stay here tonight and clean it? BTW I am smuggling booze in so I can sleep tonight! Honestly, thank you everyone for your kind and encouraging words. And all of our close friends for the support everyone is offering up. I am almost ready to take a few people up on their offers. I'm talking to you Frank! LOL! There isn't much else to tell. I love my guy!