Pride and LaRoy's True Colors

San Francisco's Pride is like Mecca for gays: people from far and near flock to the City ...similar to how animals were drawn to Ace Ventura during that one scene in the movie. I suppose it's similar ...bears go to Pride as well, but I digress.

Pride is a time to celebrate unity, progress and, well, see lots of hot men (and women), along with the freaks. During the daylong celebration, LaRoy had a couple of drinks...who am I fooling, he had a lot. So, over the course of the day, there were plenty of one-liners. For instance, a group of us were walking down the street when LaRoy spotted a hottie sitting in front of their house. LaRoy busts out with a "Heyyyy" all ghetto-style, and at that precise moment, as LaRoy put it, a "Congo Car" backed up and all four men inside gave us the evil eye. Score 1 for us for narrowly being shot. LaRoy's impeccable timing didn't end there: while waiting for the Muni, or as LaRoy put it, "Waiting for the bus or whatever it's called," he said his sunglasses were all Jay-Z, and wouldn't you know it, a big african-american man who could have been Jay-Z's brother happened to walk by. And, if you listened to the show on Monday, you know by now that LaRoy was rejected by Olympia Dukakis. Now, LaRoy LOVES "Steel Magnolias," and he even made a friend of his watch it twice in one day. So, as you can imagine, he was excited about the chance of possibly taking a photo with the actress. Now, as crass as LaRoy can be, he was very polite when he spoke to Ms. Dukakis. But you would have thought she stepped in a pile of his alcohol-induced vomit the way she looked at him and waved him off. The rest of the day, LaRoy shared how much he despised her with anyone who would listen. At one point, he nearly knocked an Olympia Dukakis doppelganger to the ground.

When the night was wrapping up, and we headed back to the car, while trudging up another hill, LaRoy summed up our exhaustion...sighing, "Are we walking to Utah? By the time we get to the car, I'll be the artist formally known as funny." Ahh, yes,whether it's Pride or any other day, LaRoy's true colors always shine through.

Drunken Rants!!!

I am so afraid to listen to the podcast from Monday. Olivia got me totally drunk before the show. She was pouring me one right after another. Vodka and coconut water, was what she was pouring that day. If I offended anyone, well if I didn't offend someone, I wouldn't be doing my job. So here's to drinking on air!

Life With LaRoy

For those of you who don't know me, or may not have heard me on the air lately ....because as LaRoy puts it, I'm the Brian Dunkelman of this dynamic duo, let me introduce myself to you. I'm Sigfried: LaRoy's bf, partner, target of off-the-cuff remarks...however you want to put it, I'm LaRoy's better, and certainly saner, better half. LaRoy is certainly very entertaining to listen to on the air. But the craziness, I mean, humour doesn't end with his segment. It's non-stop, which many of you might think would mean hours and hours of hilarious moments like a Golden Girls marathon, or a drug-induced frenzy. Perhaps a little of both, but it can also be exhausting.

The other day while I was paying bills and he was watching some ABC Family tween drama that wasn't the Gilmore Girls (hence, his namesake), I came across some paperwork that needed his signature. So, I went into the bedroom with the paperwork and pen and asked him to sign it. Simple request, right? Well, he proceeded to make a pouty face and whimpered, "I don't wanna." Seriously? I told him to stop goofing around, and this time he pointed at me and eeked out, "E.T. phone home." The only phone call I'm going to make is the one that's going to get him put away for a while so I can get some rest. After leaving the room and some haggling, he finally signed the documents ...complaining that he didn't like the ink in the pen. Cause I'm sure colored ink or crayons would have made it look SO much better.

It's just one of many moments that will be shared in the future. And for all of you parents out there, if you have any suggestions on how to deal with an overgrown (no, LaRoy...that wasn't a fat joke) child, send them my way.

Oh the joy of being Roy's friend! He makes you laugh everytime you're with him...but he'll also tell your deepest, darkest secrets to anyone who's listening while doing his segment on The Don Geronimo Show if he thinks it'll get him more listeners, fans, and laughs. But can I truly complain? YES!
I never thought the condition of my underwear would be revealed to anyone other than him. That first broadcast had me sitting on pins & needles, thinking, "surely he won't tell this story..." I was sooo happy when Don got distracted by a text or something, but Don does not forget his place, regardless of what's coming across his phone, or computer, and he went right back to the story! AAAAAAhhhhhh! But out of it, I got the opportunity to go on the show and have quite a few nice things said about me. So I go with the flow. Something after 9 years of friendship I've learned to do with Roy. You have to have a thick skin to be around him, but that's what people say about me, too, so I guess we're 2 peas in a pod. I'm just slightly more PC when in public. Love you Roy! Payback is a bitch, and so am I!

My Bestie Olivia

So Olivia and I have been best friend for years, and I am so happy she was there with me yesterday, because I was a hot tranny fucked up mess! I can always rely on her! She is fabulous! I don't use that word often but she is, FABULOUS!!!! I hope all you little whores out there have someone just like her in your life. If you do, you are rich person.